Alfa Romeo Owners Club of Australia Forum

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: colcol on May 13, 2011, 09:20:00 PM

Title: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 13, 2011, 09:20:00 PM
I got this book on stupid car accesories over the years, and i got quite a chuckle, but my favourite stupid car accessory of all time was something i read about 20 years ago, that they actually banned due to well, lots of drivers dying because of it, the device in question was a status symbol that used to be on British cars in the 30's,  a duck or swan or goose or whatever, it would be attached to the front of the bonnet, that had wings that used to flap as the car drove along, it was somehow powered by a cable that attached to the wheel, like a speedo cable and the faster you drove, the faster the bird flapped its wings, so you can see where this is heading, the driver would go fast to watch in amazement at the birds wings flapped at breakneck speed, and rather than looking at the road they would end up driving into a fixed object causing them to become deceased, not funny, but has anyone out there in Alfa land got any stupid car accessory stories, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on May 13, 2011, 10:37:50 PM
The typical stupid car accessory would be a blonde, wouldn't it?
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: pete barr on May 14, 2011, 08:14:12 AM
I remember way back in the 50's an anti-fatigue device thet the driver wore aound his neck. The collar had a vertical pin which, when the driver's head nodded forward, would stick into his chin and wake him up! Funny, you don't see too many of them around these days. 
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: MD on May 14, 2011, 08:44:57 AM
Stupid car accessories are still alive and well today. My favourite one is the "hide all smell pine tree" dangling from the mirror. On a summer day when you get in the car that's got one and the internal temp has been raised to oblivion, the choking smell that greets you is enough to warrant medical help.

Instead of keeping the car clean inside and letting the natural smell of that Italian leather come through, we need to mask the odiferous compounds in the car by an overwhelming, more sexy one. One that reminds you of lillies on a Swiss mountain top (if only) or that special scent of  soap on a rope that you used in 1978. For goodness sake, a clean car does not need ANY masking agents !!

A close second in the same vein is that special, indeed magical dangling accessory from the mirror that could be the size of a wind chime on the back verandah. These have to be a spiritual driving aid because I see so many of them every day. Technically, they are illegal but I have never seen anyone getting booked for it. All the more is the pity.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Barry Edmunds on May 14, 2011, 09:17:38 AM
Do dogs with nodding heads qualify as an accessory?

What about dice hanging from rear vision mirror?

Signs on rear of vehicle proclaiming Baby On Board. This might have some relevance in the event of an accident but it would have more impact if said sign was attached to the steering wheel to remind the driver that they have other people to consider and to drive more carefully.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on May 14, 2011, 11:01:17 AM
Can someone explain to me of the significance of rows of stuffed toy animals on the front dash and rear parcel shelf of usually Japanese fine machinery.

Are they there as secondary impact protection to airbags.

Please explain to me as I am a very simple person.

Neil

Second that on the "Baby on board" sign, I could never figure out its true meaning.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 14, 2011, 08:34:25 PM
Yeah Neil we used to get those fine Japanese Cars along to the MSCA and it was always interesting to watch when they went thru scrutineering!, 'baby on board', no idea either, but we did have a bit of fun with a bloke at work when we told him that the Police were having a blitz on baby on board signs, and if you had one on your car, then you would be pulled over and checked for 'baby on board', if no baby was sighted, then you would be charged with giving misleading information, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: alfagtv100 (Biggus) on May 16, 2011, 04:33:00 PM
Quote from: colcol on May 14, 2011, 08:34:25 PM
Yeah Neil we used to get those fine Japanese Cars along to the MSCA and it was always interesting to watch when they went thru scrutineering!, 'baby on board', no idea either, but we did have a bit of fun with a bloke at work when we told him that the Police were having a blitz on baby on board signs, and if you had one on your car, then you would be pulled over and checked for 'baby on board', if no baby was sighted, then you would be charged with giving misleading information, Colin.
Nice. I support this.  They should make the drivers eat the sign.  Just for fun.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
And another bloke at work has "given up smoking", anyway thats what he told his family and us at work, but he hasn't "given up smoking" in his car, to and from work, so to disguise the cigarrette smell he has SEVEN of those pine tree deodorizer hanging of vents and mirrors, i think the fumes would give you a headache, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: alfa duk on May 16, 2011, 09:54:33 PM
 Tell him to smoke menthol, it will blend better with pine.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: lance105 on May 16, 2011, 09:55:48 PM
Ok my list of stupid accessories, in oder of their stupidityness (if that is not a word it should be)

4. bullet decals on cars ....  ???
3. oversized spoilers. in fact any spoilers. Unless on a lambo.
2. RM william horn stickers across the rear window. Usually accompanied by "Rum-pig" or " Rum-slut" stickers, along with as many B&S stickers as it takes to block your rear vision. Noice
1. The satnav system in my audi. Proves that Germans DO have sense of humor. 
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Davidm1600 on May 17, 2011, 12:34:17 PM
God where does one start, and I suspect I show perhaps my age or my lack of appreciation of the Asian car syndrome, or for that matter the Aussie Bogan.  ;D

But anyway, how about those idiotic neon lights mounted under a car, then there is the doof doof system that vibrates not just the bootlid, but all the extra plastic adorning such cars, including replacement front/rear bumpers, and side skirts (especially those with pretend air intakes to cool the brakes, except they can't). 

Then there is the adornment of bonnets with fake WRX airscoops but again they can't work as they are simply glued or nailed on, or those backward working carbon fibre replacement bonnets which look like they made by a bunch of school kids after a bender one night!  How about the mesh grills especially in the rear of such replacement rear bumpers.  Then there is the profusion of daft gauges growing up the drivers side piller like fungi on a tree, or sprouting out of the bonnet.  Of course how can I forget the sewage pipe exhausts out the rear of pretty much every young adolescants dream (like a Kia Rio, Daewoo, Hyundai Excel), let alone WRX, Skyline, 200 SX etc.   Oh and there is checker plate, this stuff which is for industrial applications seems to have been adopted as the material of choice for not just the interior but exterior on some of these cars.   

But high on my list of pet hates is the use of waste gates and the idiotic noise they make, I seem to recall Clarkson saying that they sounded as if there was a squirrel somewhere in the exhaust system.  I am sure if so, it actually would sound better IMHO.

Lastly how about the bogan Aussie ute or 4WD covered in mud, antennas, bull bars better suited to a mack truck, vertical truck exahusts, mud flaps front and rear and of course the obligatory rear window covered in every known bogan sticker you can think of and then some.


Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: MD on May 17, 2011, 01:14:45 PM
David, do you realise you have just killed off half the tyre kicking, mud flap shop industry?  :D

Can you believe people actually have livelihoods selling this crap?

Fortunately, the idiot accessory usually matches the owner perfectly irrespective of gender or race. >:(

Lucky for me, I get a lot of calming guru type guidance from this guy.....and I will get over it soon.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Anthony Miller on May 17, 2011, 01:32:08 PM
David, you forgot the three most popular accessories for the Holden Dunnydoor Ute/sedan/wagon
1. Chevy badge (it's an effing holden FFS) ::)
2. Pontiac G8 front end (see above) ::)
3. Entry visa for the shire (souther cross sticker) ;D
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Brad M on May 17, 2011, 01:55:03 PM
Quote from: Anthony Miller on May 17, 2011, 01:32:08 PM
2. Pontiac G8 front end (see above) ::)

The factory did it, so not really an accessory ...
http://www.themotorreport.com.au/43712/2010-holden-ss-v-series-special-edition-and-special-edition-international-models-announced

Should substitute for the already discussed ...
http://news.drive.com.au/drive/motor-news/holden-camarodore-20101123-184zd.html
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Davidm1600 on May 17, 2011, 02:05:54 PM
Heh heh (LOL)  ;D  (shame there is no double thumbs up icon for I could add that as well), but yes MD and Anthony, you have me totally cracking up.  For sure, you guys are dead right.  Oh good grief. Damn it all I also forgot the stickers that seem to grow up the front guards of WRXs, Skylines, Supras et al including JetPilot, Trust, TRC etc etc. 
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: ItalCarGuy on May 17, 2011, 04:39:24 PM
Those Brembo caliper covers you see on ebay have to be up there.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Anthony Miller on May 17, 2011, 06:34:16 PM
Quote from: Brad M on May 17, 2011, 01:55:03 PM
Quote from: Anthony Miller on May 17, 2011, 01:32:08 PM
2. Pontiac G8 front end (see above) ::)

The factory did it, so not really an accessory ...
http://www.themotorreport.com.au/43712/2010-holden-ss-v-series-special-edition-and-special-edition-international-models-announced

Should substitute for the already discussed ...
http://news.drive.com.au/drive/motor-news/holden-camarodore-20101123-184zd.html


Ok then, whilst not technically an accessory, still decidedly stupid, I suppose Holden had to do something with those front ends after Pontiac went tits up
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 17, 2011, 08:53:41 PM
Did you see the revoiced clip of Hitler addressing a meeting of the support staff, not about loosing the war, but the number of Commodores with Chev badges he has seen lately, GOLD, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 17, 2011, 09:59:15 PM
I first noticed "ute balls" up in Brisbane (kind of says everything, really), but they seem to be working their way south. Maybe following the cane toads. These have to be the dumbest car accessory ever!!!

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: AikenDrum105 on May 19, 2011, 11:54:09 AM
Hee hee - why the hate on the Baby on Board signs ?

Is it the cheek of the driver that niggles ?  to assume someone following would drive any differently  when reminded people have kids ?   

I'm sure a few of you would agree that with a car full of noisy kids - the natural reaction when your concentration is stretched is to slow down - driving perhaps a little slower / more carefully than those behind might like.   

I'm not saying it's an excuse for stupid inconsiderate driving, or a licence to hold everyone up. I think the general idea was more a  "Cut me a little slack if I fail to merge quickly enough  / go for that gap you thought I could fit into  / run the orange light -  got a rowdy bunch in the car here..."   

I know a friend of mine eyes those signs the same way he eyes older Volvos  - as an invitation to "pass me now at any cost - I'm going to hold you up"  but he's a bit special that way.

Maybe those signs are also another tool to get the product to market.  Maybe I work for Safe n Sound and am biased. ;)

<nomex undies on>  flame away !  ;)


Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 19, 2011, 08:40:08 PM
What about those silly 'static straps', that is a piece of rubber that hangs down off your plastic rear bumper and stops the buildup of static electricity in the car, when these stupid straps were all the rage in the 50's and 60's it was to stop static electricity building up causing car sickness, these days the snake oil salesman tell the guilliable that the static electricity buildup causes voltage spikes and fries the computers in use in modern cars, but my car has a devise to stop buildup of static electricity, its a rubber device called a tyre, if anyone wants to know where to buy a static strap, there is a car accesory place in Croydon, [Vic], that has them left over from the 60's complete with an inch of dust, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories - a shaving mirror
Post by: branko.gt on May 21, 2011, 10:54:56 AM
 ???  http://www.starnewsonline.com/article/20100327/COLUMNIST/100329716 ???
i guess she figured there was no point in puting makeup on her face ...  ::)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on July 31, 2011, 04:40:50 PM
And on ebay, you can now get special covers for your tissue boxes with the Alfa Romeo logo, mmm, put me down for 2, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: f1worldchamp on August 15, 2011, 12:59:43 PM
Some good 'uns here:
http://www.caradvice.com.au/132401/worst-ever-car-accessories/ (http://www.caradvice.com.au/132401/worst-ever-car-accessories/)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on October 29, 2011, 09:16:52 PM
And sounding like a grumpy old man, whats the deal with those white stick figures that are on the back of people movers and 4 wheel drives, they show mum and dad and various kids, what are we supposed to do?, congratulate dad on his outstanding work, good on you mum for great parenting, how many rugrats is that now?, lets see one-two-three, CRASH, sorry for running up your rear while reading another stupid rear window sticker, maybe they should make them for people like me, a big fat bloke and one Cat, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: dehne on October 29, 2011, 11:47:18 PM
some are funny i was following a car today that had them when i got closer i noticed that it was a rude version 2guys 1 girl if you get the idea and was on the back of a ute.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on February 12, 2012, 10:40:38 AM
One i saw today was a baby's jumper on a suction cup stuck to the back window, and on the jumper was 'baby on board', and when i pulled up next to them, there wasn't a baby on board, why should we even care if there is a baby on board?, the stupid jumper took up about 15% of the back window, just enough to miss that semi trailer thats coming down on you, didn't matter though as the driver of the car most likely never looks in the rear vision mirror of their......... CAMRY, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on February 16, 2012, 08:05:48 PM
And i saw one that appealed to me, a sticker on the back window of stick figures, saying "I don't give a  Fu^k about your stupid stick figure family", no neither do i, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: L4OMEO on March 12, 2012, 07:50:36 PM
Au contraire Colin ...

(Some say .... he masquerades as the editor of the Queensland AROCA magazine, and that he really drives a battered dark-green imported Tarago .....)

(http://i921.photobucket.com/albums/ad56/L4OMEO/2012-03-12163559.jpg)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 12, 2012, 09:50:45 PM
We simply know them as the STIGS, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on March 24, 2012, 11:28:06 PM
I didn't know the stig had a dog?

About car acessories
> what's with the doof spinning wheel centres - what so you look as if your moving when your standing still?

>> I also wonder what the fake bullet holes are for?

>>> And those stupid blue lights comming out of every orefas of the car?

1750GT
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on April 29, 2012, 09:54:23 PM
Try these stupid accesories - love the truck nuts and fake exhausts.

http://autorules.blogspot.com.au/2011/12/stupid-car-accessories.html


1750GT
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 02, 2012, 02:31:23 PM
Every Soccer Mom SUV in Melbourne seems to have those "My Family" stickers on the rear window... these have to be more pointless and inane than any baby-on-board sign. Seriously, who else cares?? They're like tattoos for cars.



Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Davidm1600 on May 02, 2012, 05:45:32 PM
yes I can't stand them either or those daft baby on board diamonds

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Fast Eddie on May 02, 2012, 06:02:47 PM
you do realise what the real purpose of the 'baby on board' diamond is and why it is a diamond right?....

It is to alert safety vehicles in the event of a crash that there may be a child in the car.
And it is diamond shaped cos that is the standard road transport warning placard shape.

Now, as for 'small dude on board' signs etc, they are stupid and defeat the original purpose and why they were issued with baby capsules.

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 02, 2012, 06:07:52 PM
Quote from: Fast Eddie on May 02, 2012, 06:02:47 PM
you do realise what the real purpose of the 'baby on board' diamond is and why it is a diamond right?....

It is to alert safety vehicles in the event of a crash that there may be a child in the car.
And it is diamond shaped cos that is the standard road transport warning placard shape.

Now, as for 'small dude on board' signs etc, they are stupid and defeat the original purpose and why they were issued with baby capsules.



I did realise that, but I wonder if the people who have them in their cars also realise the purpose. If they did, it makes you wonder why the baby-on-board sign never seems to be taken down... even when baby is not on board.

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Beatle on May 02, 2012, 06:27:05 PM
Jeez fellas, chill out will ya ;)   How on earth does a sticker or a small diamond placard actually affect YOU?    If you want to have a go, have a go at people with misadjusted headlights or noisy dogs.  Something which actually affects others.

I have those My Family stickers on my Landcruiser.  I wouldn't have chosen them myself, but the kids thought they were a cool trend so who am I to argue?

And in Australia it's soccer mum, not soccer mom...
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 02, 2012, 08:02:30 PM
G'day Paul,

1. I think everyone here is chilled... well, perhaps nearly everyone ;D.

2. As the title suggests, this thread is about "stupid car accessories", not wonky headlights or noisy dogs... although I do agree that both of those are also annoying.

3. You're kind of missing the point... stupid accessories don't actually affect others either. It's all just a matter of opinion as to what is stupid, and what isn't.

4. If your kids like the My Family stickers on the Landcruiser, then that's absolutely fine... each to his/her own.

5. I used the US spelling of "Soccer Mom" quite deliberately... that's where the term originated.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on May 02, 2012, 10:44:04 PM
Ghees you drive a Landcruiser?

Thats maybe off the topic??

1750Gt
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 02, 2012, 11:19:18 PM
Landcruisers are excellent for towing Alfas... on a car trailer to a track day :D.

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 06, 2012, 08:28:43 PM
I was at Autocrap the other day, and the latest stupid accessory, is 'eyelashes' for your car, you stick them onto your headlights to make it seem like your car has eyes, i know this because, i was looking at them,[wondering how i could fit them to my 156], when the salesman told me all about them, and how they were the latest craze, i quickly purchased some oil and made my escape, if they replace 'baby on board' or 'my family', i am all for them, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on May 06, 2012, 09:46:40 PM
Don't know about that, they are actually sold on "chickbase" - see below

http://www.chickbase.com.au/eyelashes-for-cars?gclid=CKTwh4DL668CFUdKpgodaXVp0A

1750Gt
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 07, 2012, 08:14:05 PM
'Fake eyelashes can convert your car into a sexy beast', ok you have won me, but on the 156, the bonnet closes over the headlights, so that would crush the fake eyelashes, causing my car to be a less sexy beast, maybe i could drill some holes in the bonnet and self tapper them on, but the biggest problem is the 33, as the bonnet tilts forward, over the headlight, so i can't stick the eyelashes onto the headlight, i will most likely have to go to an engineering place and get some special eyelashes brackets made up, does anyone know who specialises in these types of things?, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on May 07, 2012, 09:56:43 PM
Colcol why Mr. gadget of course!

1750GT
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: kartone on May 08, 2012, 01:32:01 PM
While at it, don't forget to fit a bra !
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: njh1964 on May 08, 2012, 01:49:03 PM
Preferably a bra of the peek-a-boo variety... and maybe some hot pink lippy around the grill ;D.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 08, 2012, 08:47:47 PM
In the V-8 Supertaxi series they have a series of light on the front windscreen to show whether its the main driver or co-driver, and if the cars are on soft or hard tyres, saw a young bloke in a VS Commodore on the eastern freeway in Melbourne with a row of lights down the front of the windscreen, what posseses people to do this type of thing?, [most likely a his & hers package deal from Autocrap], his girlfreind most likely has eyelashes on her Lancer, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on May 13, 2012, 09:20:31 PM
I agree Colin, the ones that give me the heebees are the blue flouro lights under the cars at the back and front which light up the the road? like what purpose do these lights serve and then they put the brakes on and the disco multiple flashing side show happens in addition to the brake lights? whats this all about and why have so many doofs become enamid with these freeking lights? Theres even flashing blue lights that flash in "tune" with the doof doof music.

Alas is the car suppose to be a road weapon of choice whether its for pleassure or pure conveyance (toyota camery owners note the pure conveyance) or a doof doof freeking edefice.

Now about those guys who drive "soft top" jeeps and persist in putting a false row of five or six flood lights across the front of the roof so the car looks like a hair dressers version of a mean four wheel drive...........don't start me on this one.

1750GT


1750GT
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: 1750GT on May 23, 2012, 10:56:13 PM
And the other night I saw the latest silly flouro light acessary. A mitsubishi EVO with the full body kit turned the corner and it had blue flouro lights running the length (along the crease line between the body kit and the body) of the body kit.

What the?? it looked hideous. A supreme conveyance with disco lights along the line of the body kit, what does this add to the whole package?

1750Gt
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on May 27, 2012, 09:19:22 AM
Well, I would not have posted anything but this morning I was searching for some replacement bonnet pins for my Alfa and decided to stupidly look in e-bay and found these and thought "ripper, will buy these" but the pictures didn't look right.  No drilling and STICK ON!!!??  Interestingly, listing says one sold already.

How stupid can accessories get, similar to the Brembo caliper covers I guess.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Brad M on May 27, 2012, 10:02:22 AM
Quote from: Neil Choi on May 27, 2012, 09:19:22 AM
Interestingly, listing says one sold already.

Admit it Neil, it was you.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on May 27, 2012, 11:11:19 AM
If you had a forward opening bonnet, you could use these to stooge the scrutineer into thinking your car had proper bonnet pins, and how about stick on fire extinguishers, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on May 27, 2012, 11:16:04 AM
Looked up STICK ON Bonnet Scoops too, interesting what is out there and can buy!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Luna Rossa on June 17, 2012, 11:02:45 AM

I'm speechless...

The description on the ebay ad is

We have on offer a set of four sound activated LED interior lights for the front driver and passenger and rear passenger footwells. Make your car stand out with theses ultra bright resilient neon's. Ideal for footwells, subs, etc. These will improve the styling of any car, with easy fitment these LED lights can be plugged in any 12V car outlet and with a three setting switch included in the kit ("on", "off" and "sound activated") the lights can be controlled very easily. These can be installed in just minutes making your car stand out from the crowd instantly!

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on June 17, 2012, 11:18:29 AM
Do you reckon they would flash along with the Ramones, they live up to the advertising hype of making your car stand out from the crowd, whats that old Alfa Romeo drivers statement again?, turn down the music, cause i can't hear the engine, there was a 156 V-6 on ebay about 1 year ago with all these doof-doof accesories, and it looked quite good, and it was a runner, and at $5,000, he couldn't shift it, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 17, 2012, 09:44:52 PM
Another stupid car accessories, for christmas, stick on reindeer antlers, they stick to your side window to give your car the reindeer look, seriously the other day i thought it was a new type of reindeer just invented, with headlights and 4 wheels, i have a compulsion to jump out at the traffic lights and break them off, as if we need more landfill, all sorts of family cars seem to have them along with my family stickers on the back window, if i see any Alfa Romeo's in Melbourne with them, i will chase you down, and break them off,....you have been warned, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on December 17, 2012, 10:44:44 PM
Calm Colin, calm, serenity......................
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Beatle on December 24, 2012, 09:58:18 AM
Colcol, I just added another My Family dog sticker to the collection on my rear window.  Luckily these days I don't park or stop at traffic lights in Melbourne....................... ;D

Bah Humbug!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Cool Jesus on December 24, 2012, 11:41:23 PM
I love pulling up beside the 'My Family' cars and seeing the outline of the male member having been removed, hmmm. I've given my young 'P' plate nephew a tally count decal for the side of his work truck/ute with a running tally for cars, bikes, cats, pedestrians etc... the hooligan in him loved it :)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Paul Gulliver on February 27, 2013, 05:13:32 PM
Just read this on an English review for the new toyota B 86 I'm sure the highlighted bits will put a smile on Uncle Col Col's Face

QuoteToyota UK last week announced the release of 250 examples of the GT 86 TRD – Britain's first official TRD-branded model – fitted with unique front and side skirts, a rear spoiler, 18-inch alloy wheels, "fast-response" quad exhaust outlets and specific TRD components including a branded radiator cap, fuel filler cover and gearshifter.

Not sure on the pricing, but that branded radiator cap would have to be worth thousands
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: pancho on March 02, 2013, 07:31:50 PM
My favourite is Mazdas new 'sky active technology' - what a ridiculous name for something.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 02, 2013, 11:18:10 PM
Not a stupid car accesory, but to all the people who put bowtie Chevrolet badges on their Commodores, a sticker seen on mostly Falcons, a sticker with a Chevrolet badge with a red circle through it, saying it a fu@^ing Commodore you dickhead, there was a great clip on youtube of the Hitler film from a few years ago with the Herr Hitler going into a table thumping rage to his Generals about loosing the war,......except it had been revoiced to Hitler going into a rage about all the Commodores with Chevrolet badges, sadly it was taken down after about a week due to copywright issues, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 03, 2013, 08:40:09 PM
3-12-2013, 3 weeks before christmas, saw my first car with reindeer antlers sticking out of the back window, not on an Alfa Romeo, but one of those Korean Fords.......was going too fast for me to break them off, but waiting to see some on a parked car which will be fair game, should be plenty of useless car accesories for christmas at Autocrap, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Paul Gulliver on December 03, 2013, 10:10:43 PM
This thread had no right to die . Thanks for keeping it alive with your ever vigilant  eye Uncle Col . I will be paying even more attention
over the festive season.

Gully
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 04, 2013, 04:49:18 PM
Not stupid car accesories, but stupid bus accesories, in Frankston, [Victoria], embattled Frankston MP, the Honorable Mr. Shaw was being interviewed at a door stop, and a bus pulled up, with the bus driver dressed as Santa, it was a hot day, i hope the bus had airconditioning!, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Craig_m67 on December 04, 2013, 06:46:52 PM
Quote from: colcol on December 03, 2013, 08:40:09 PM
3-12-2013, 3 weeks before christmas, saw my first car with reindeer antlers sticking out of the back window, not on an Alfa Romeo, but one of those Korean Fords.......was going too fast for me to break them off, but waiting to see some on a parked car which will be fair game, should be plenty of useless car accesories for christmas at Autocrap, Colin.

Bah humbug

I'll be looking out for a set to go with my tinsel in the Sportwagon.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 04, 2013, 08:11:15 PM
Make sure the christmas decorations don't cover the 'My Family' sticker on the Sportwagon, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Cool Jesus on December 05, 2013, 10:32:40 AM
There's some funny my family variants out there. I always get a giggle, and I've seen a few now, from couples where the male sticker has been removed and you can see this from the dusty outline. Hmmm disharmony in that family... Actually I saw a whole family of mum, dad, kids and pets with the dad having been removed! I still am confounded at how much personal info people are willing to display for the world to see.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 05, 2013, 08:45:20 PM
Apparantly the 'MY Family' was invented by someone in Queensland, who has a bit more coin now than before.
There are 2 generations grown up since we had nodding dogs on the back window shelfs, when are these stupid, but cute bow wows going to make a comeback?, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 14, 2013, 05:19:52 PM
Car Eyelashes are now available from motorquip.co.au, they are $14.99 RRP, i'll have 2 sets please, to give my cars the Lamborghini Muira look, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on December 14, 2013, 05:45:10 PM
Come on Colin, if you are going eyelash all the Alfa's, get it right.

motoquipe.com.au

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

Or perhaps $5K for some Porsche GT3 bookshelf.  Money will spent.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: alfafarm on December 15, 2013, 08:35:32 AM
A sad aside to the chev badge thing I read that GM had been arguing for a while that as holden badges were being replaced with chev ones why keep holden john
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on December 15, 2013, 07:30:04 PM
I don't get the Chev badge thing. They are clearly driving a Holden Commodore so what makes them think its a Chevy.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 15, 2013, 09:59:46 PM
A Holden is a better car than a Chevrolet, so why would you put a badge of a lesser car maker on, it?, the only good thing, it means there is a wally driving, so give them a clear passage, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Craig_m67 on December 16, 2013, 11:44:38 PM
Quote from: Craig_m67 on December 16, 2013, 11:43:36 PM
Quote from: colcol on December 04, 2013, 08:11:15 PM
Make sure the christmas decorations don't cover the 'My Family' sticker on the Sportwagon, Colin.

The Sportwagon earned a Nurburgring sticker (in the glovebox) ... the whole family did a lap :)

(http://www.alfabb.com/bb/forums/attachments/spider-1966-up/221235d1314392993-red-black-santa-duetto-road-america.jpg)

Bah humbug
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Cool Jesus on December 17, 2013, 07:26:10 AM
I should start getting some piccies with the sticky as Trent from punchy says. We get some fully sick drifters at the workshop OMG. From the really bad carbon wrap home job to to band aid stickers on bumper scrapes. So far my favourites are the stick on alloy fuel cap and some string lace stitching on bumpers. WTF
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: extraball on December 17, 2013, 10:19:07 AM


(http://www.alfabb.com/bb/forums/attachments/spider-1966-up/221235d1314392993-red-black-santa-duetto-road-america.jpg)

I dont know what model this car is, but i am instantly inlove with it.  8)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on January 02, 2014, 04:23:49 PM
On the back of a Peugeot Hatchback, a picture of a Dingo's head, with its mouth open, with the caption, "A Dingo ate my stick Family", gotta luv that, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: poohbah on January 03, 2014, 03:13:15 PM
Stupidest car accessory of all time - or at least stupidest car accessory purchaser of all time ... me. I bought a generic cup holder for my 156. Its been rolling around in the boot for 6 months now - not even a sniff of somewhere it might fit. I now just do it the proper Italian way - pull over, purchase coffee of choice, sit down and drink it, then return to car...
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on January 03, 2014, 03:35:17 PM
I purchased a drink holder for my 156,  that sits next to the handbrake, but is behind the coin holder on a series 2 156, cost about $95, but after all the stuffing around with generic drink holders, it works well, next time you are in Melbourne, i will show it to you, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: poohbah on January 03, 2014, 03:51:13 PM
I prefer the demonstrated model ...
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on January 05, 2014, 05:19:39 PM
Not as good looking as the previous drink holder, but a more in fitting with the current 156 driver, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Cool Jesus on January 08, 2014, 03:42:58 PM
Uncle Col, here's a website right up your alley for car accessories

http://kalecoauto.com/ (http://kalecoauto.com/)

With items like a tub of elbow grease, piston return springs, blinker fluid and spark plugs that actually do what the name says, plug the spark. Bwah ha, funny...
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on March 01, 2014, 01:00:15 PM
Quote from: colcol on December 14, 2013, 05:19:52 PM
Car Eyelashes are now available from motorquip.co.au, they are $14.99 RRP, i'll have 2 sets please, to give my cars the Lamborghini Muira look, Colin.


Got to keep this thread alive.  I have never ever believed what Colin says but until now, I actually witnessed it.  Nearly crashed my car........into it.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 01, 2014, 02:25:20 PM
I have a set for your 156 Neil, they were fitted to my 156, but every time i worked on the 156, the eyelashes tickled me in the middle section, which was thrilling, but slightly creepy, PM, and i will give you a good price, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Nate Dog on March 02, 2014, 02:41:10 AM
Not exactly in theme,
But boy oh boy, there have definitely been days when i wished for these...

Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 03, 2014, 09:13:12 PM
When are vinyl roofs going to make a comeback?, there are generations of young gullible motorists out there who get taken in by Bluetooth and cars that you can talk to, what about giving everyone the impression, that your steel roofed car is really a soft top, the myriad of rust problems and the vinyl peeling off is just a minor setback, even Rolls Royce had them in the 60's & 70's, back in the day, it was a way of hiding the fact that the car had been rolled over, and you couldn't get the ripples out of the roof, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Nate Dog on March 04, 2014, 08:57:08 AM
Hi Colin,
Vinyl roofs won't be making a comeback, thats just too 20th century.
For 21st century equivalent, please refer to the Hyundai exploding sunroof saga, almost as entertaining, with the added joy of 10's of thousand of potential lawsuits!!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on March 04, 2014, 03:50:13 PM
I admired the marvellous engineering that Australia can produce and had always noticed this fine specimen.

It made me wondering for awhile when I followed it and had me sleepless for the night.

I will let you decipher the relativeness to stupid car accessories.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on March 04, 2014, 04:35:31 PM
Neil, that would be one seriously scary car. I sold new Toyota TRD Aurion 3.5L V6 Supercharged Sedans and the torque steer was amazing for all the wrong reasons.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on March 08, 2014, 01:51:08 PM
This was on the back of the Toyota.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on March 08, 2014, 01:54:53 PM
Quote from: Garibaldi on March 04, 2014, 04:35:31 PM
the torque steer was amazing for all the wrong reasons.


Isn't that the optional ALC, Auto Lane Change mode.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 08, 2014, 04:07:30 PM
Mind you, it could just be a V-8 badge stuck on the back of a Toyota for some extra street cred or it could be a V8 out of a Lexus.
The V-6 supercharged Aurion from TRD, [looks like turd], was an Australian developed Harrop Engineering kit, but with the average age of a Aurion owner nearly into 3 figures, why would Toyota bother?, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on March 08, 2014, 04:15:51 PM
Toyota felt that they would like a share of the HSV & FPV market as well as targeting some of the European performance cars. The car really wasn't aimed at the traditional Toyota buyer, they were just trying to get some incremental sales in a segment they had not competed in before. It was a seriously underdone performance car pretender. It should have been all wheel drive or at least rear wheel drive. There were plenty of Lexus RWD platforms they could have built it on. I am not surprised it was not successful for them. :o
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on April 15, 2014, 08:12:53 PM
Now available, [at last] for 156 Alfa Romeo models, headlight spoilers, designed to spoil any lighting from headlights possibly or an added bit of downforce when doing high speed cruising down Lygon St., can be color coded to match your car or that carbon fibre look to show others you shop at Autobahn, available from ebay on the 156 site, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on October 22, 2014, 06:24:31 PM
Now available on Ebay, for Alfa Romeo 156, 'direct replacement', chrome white LED neon washer jets, 'super bright lights', give your car an instant makeover in seconds, your chance to keep up with all the Lancer and Hyundai drivers, wiring included!,  i'll take 2 thanks, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on October 22, 2014, 07:48:21 PM
Col, can you get them for 147's? I reckon mine would look fully sick with them. 8)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on October 22, 2014, 08:48:55 PM
When i receive mine, i will show them to you, so you can see if they fit a 147, but they are not allowed in Spectacolo in standard class.
Seriously, what are the point of these useless items, you see them on cars in the morning when driving to work in the dark, i think the light reflecting onto the bonnet would be a major distraction.......from all the doofdoof music, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on October 23, 2014, 08:53:39 AM
It's just attention seeking behaviour by these people. For some reason they want everybody to notice them. Personally I'd rather fly under the radar.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Backto105 on October 29, 2014, 10:20:21 PM
Quote from: Neil Choi on May 13, 2011, 10:37:50 PM
The typical stupid car accessory would be a blonde, wouldn't it?

... that's one of those accessories that just sucks!!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Backto105 on October 29, 2014, 10:25:18 PM
Quote from: colcol on May 14, 2011, 08:34:25 PM
Yeah Neil we used to get those fine Japanese Cars along to the MSCA and it was always interesting to watch when they went thru scrutineering!, 'baby on board', no idea either, but we did have a bit of fun with a bloke at work when we told him that the Police were having a blitz on baby on board signs, and if you had one on your car, then you would be pulled over and checked for 'baby on board', if no baby was sighted, then you would be charged with giving misleading information, Colin.

The idea behind the "Baby on Board" was to stick it on the window closest to the baby that was in a capsule or baby seat so in the event of a big accident, rescue crews knew to look for a baby that might still be inside.

As for really useless accessories .... what about the little rubber strap dangling from the rear of the car dragging along the road.... was supposed to stop car sickness..... ALMOST as god as Peter Brocks Energy Polariser.... that would have to win first prize!!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Neil Choi on December 02, 2014, 09:28:09 PM
Another wonderfully accessorised car.  You got to love it.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Bruce Fowler on December 03, 2014, 01:16:06 PM
Where are the fashion police when you need them, or does the Disabled Sticker refer to their ablity to make sound judgement
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on December 04, 2014, 10:10:53 PM
There was a warning on tonights news about false eyelashes and all the harm they cause, but despite the warnings, people still persist with this dangerous practice.
Please, if you are going to fit false eyelashes have it done by a reputable, qualified eyelash technition, and not some person you saw in the Sun, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: tuf105 on December 05, 2014, 09:32:21 AM
Be afraid....It's that time of year again....
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: kartone on December 05, 2014, 01:19:44 PM
it's only a 3-pointer, an Alfa warrants at least an 8-pointer!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 11, 2015, 11:48:48 PM
New accessory i seen tonight on a Ford Festiva hatchback, on the back window, on the back windscreen wiper arm, there is a sticker of a cats tail fully extended, and on the back screen a picture of the back end of a cat, [ not its bum! ], and when the wiper is switched on, it looks like the cat is wagging its tail, pure genious.
If anyone one knows where i can purchase a cat wagging tail kit, could you please tell me.
And if possible i would like one of a tabby cat wagging its tail.
I will be getting one for the 33, as it has a hatch and a rear wiper.
No good for the 156, as it has no wiper......yet.
This will bring together my favourite things, Alfa Romeo's and cats, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: jazig.k on March 12, 2015, 05:00:03 PM
I give up. every time I try to post pictures to this forums, or video, I get redirected to the start new thread page.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwPTAaYtIAI
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Sheldon McIntosh on March 12, 2015, 06:00:19 PM
Quote from: colcol on March 11, 2015, 11:48:48 PM
New accessory i seen tonight on a Ford Festiva hatchback, on the back window, on the back windscreen wiper arm, there is a sticker of a cats tail fully extended, and on the back screen a picture of the back end of a cat, [ not its bum! ], and when the wiper is switched on, it looks like the cat is wagging its tail, pure genious.
This will bring together my favourite things, Alfa Romeo's and cats, Colin.

Wow, Alfa Romeos, The Ramones, and Cats.  I like you more and more every day Uncle Col.

I'm definitely getting one of them, that is brilliant.     http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/171704479983
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on March 12, 2015, 08:29:30 PM
Quote from: colcol on March 11, 2015, 11:48:48 PM
New accessory i seen tonight on a Ford Festiva hatchback, on the back window, on the back windscreen wiper arm, there is a sticker of a cats tail fully extended, and on the back screen a picture of the back end of a cat, [ not its bum! ], and when the wiper is switched on, it looks like the cat is wagging its tail, pure genious.
If anyone one knows where i can purchase a cat wagging tail kit, could you please tell me.
And if possible i would like one of a tabby cat wagging its tail.
I will be getting one for the 33, as it has a hatch and a rear wiper.
No good for the 156, as it has no wiper......yet.
This will bring together my favourite things, Alfa Romeo's and cats, Colin.

Col, I would like a pussy on my back window too. Do you know where I can get one? ;)
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 12, 2015, 09:22:54 PM
Sheldon put up an Ebay link, and i checked it out and it was a Tabby cat as well, mines on the way.
Knowing the 80's electricity on the 33, when i stick the tail on the wiper arm, the extra load on the motor will cause the wiper to stop and the stick on pussy on the back window will cause more Mrs Slocum jokes, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: carlo rossi on March 13, 2015, 01:27:55 PM
The one I always wanted was on a porsche
it was a sticker that read (in German )
"if you can read this its probably too late"
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: colcol on March 13, 2015, 10:13:12 PM
Alfa Romeo were going to put a Cat wagging its tail kit on the 4C, but was rejected due to extra weight concerns, Colin.
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: V AR 164 on April 12, 2015, 11:04:42 PM
I love my Fluffy Dice hahaha
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Italian Supermodel on June 24, 2015, 06:37:54 PM
Getting 'the set' for my son's Subi for when he scores his licence!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Victor Lee on June 24, 2015, 07:03:34 PM
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/YELLOW-STITCH-DASH-DASHBOARD-LEATHER-SKIN-COVER-FITS-ALFA-ROMEO-ALFETTA-GTV-/390784928679?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item5afc98cba7

It'll match the paintwork on my GTV6!
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: carlo rossi on June 24, 2015, 07:21:09 PM
not so stupid, you pay an extra $8000 for a 458 with that stitching
quite the in thing at the moment will stand the test of time,probably not
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Garibaldi on June 24, 2015, 07:42:34 PM
I can't believe people put stuff like that in their cars. What the? :o
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: carlo rossi on June 24, 2015, 09:52:26 PM
I believe it also comes in red or blue
and for Neil the new camry attitude comes with blue stitch on the gear boot
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Maltalfisti on June 30, 2021, 11:52:29 PM
I would genuinely like to know if there are any decent car fragrance smelly things that don't smell like a pine tree or any other kind of standard air freshener. Can you still get the ones to put under the seat?
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: MD on July 01, 2021, 07:55:18 AM
Why would you want to mask the classic smell of a clean Alfa ?? !! Sacrilege.... ;D
Title: Re: Stupid car accesories
Post by: Maltalfisti on February 26, 2022, 03:27:25 PM
Last time I got my car washed, the floor mats were not properly dried so it smelt a bit mouldy inside.

Have since rewashed, dried and aired it all out again. Smell is back to normal, thanks to some leather conditioning.

Seat covers and a steering wheel cover are of interest to me, especially for the summer months. But not sure if anything nice that would suit is actually out there. Hm...